Let's go star tripping...

craving adventure

Fri, 24 May 2013 01:35:03 -0400

Doing a hefty amount of research on grad programs this weekend. The west beckons - I’m ready.

I’m a lover not a fighter, but I fight for what I love.

Thu, 23 May 2013 19:15:16 -0400

I’m a lover not a fighter, but I fight for what I love.

"When statistics come in saying that only 29% of American women would describe themselves as feminist..."

Thu, 23 May 2013 18:14:12 -0400

“When statistics come in saying that only 29% of American women would describe themselves as feminist - and only 42% of British women - I used to think, What do you think feminism IS, ladies? What part of ‘liberation for women’ is not for you? Is it freedom to vote? The right not to be owned by the man you marry? The campaign for equal pay? ‘Vogue’ by Madonna? Jeans? Did all that good shit GET ON YOUR NERVES? Or were you just DRUNK AT THE TIME OF THE SURVEY?””

- Caitlin Moran (via coffeesweetbalm)

"The motto I have penned on my knuckles is that this is the best world we have — because it’s the..."

Thu, 23 May 2013 18:12:59 -0400

“The motto I have penned on my knuckles is that this is the best world we have — because it’s the only world we have. It’s the simplest math ever. However many terrible, rankling, peeve-inducing things may occur, there are always libraries. And rain-falling-on-sea. And the moon. And love. There is always something to look back on, with satisfaction, or forward to, with joy.”

- Moranthology, Caitlin Moran (via authorstalker)

"Picture yourself when you were five. In fact, dig out a photo of little you at that time and tape it..."

Thu, 23 May 2013 18:08:58 -0400

“Picture yourself when you were five. In fact, dig out a photo of little you at that time and tape it to your mirror. How would you treat her, love her, feed her? How would you nurture her if you were the mother of little you? I bet you would protect her fiercely while giving her space to spread her itty-bitty wings. She’d get naps, healthy food, imagination time, and adventures into the wild. If playground bullies hurt her feelings, you’d hug her tears away and give her perspective. When tantrums or meltdowns turned her into a poltergeist, you’d demand a loving time-out in the naughty chair. From this day forward I want you to extend that same compassion to your adult self.”

- Kris Carr (via larmoyante)

Sorry Single People, Being In A Relationship Is Actually Awesome

Thu, 23 May 2013 18:06:50 -0400

Sorry Single People, Being In A Relationship Is Actually Awesome:

You can fall, you can fail, and you can recover. You can test your strength time and time again, not by hiding under a shroud of independence but by not being afraid to open up and potentially get hurt. Relationships are every bit about testing and reassessing your own character as they are about the bond you have with another person.

<3 <3 <3

Tue, 21 May 2013 00:25:02 -0400

<3 <3 <3

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz, or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots...

Tue, 21 May 2013 00:19:42 -0400

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way

than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

"Laugh at the night, at the day, at the moon, laugh at the twisted streets of the island, laugh at..."

Tue, 21 May 2013 00:17:54 -0400

“Laugh at the night,
at the day, at the moon,
laugh at the twisted
streets of the island,
laugh at this clumsy
boy who loves you,
but when I open
my eyes and close them,
when my steps go,
when my steps return,
deny me bread, air,
light, spring,
but never your laughter
for I would die.”

- Pablo Neruda, Your Laughter (via fuckyeahneruda)

Change the world.

Sat, 11 May 2013 02:20:16 -0400

I’ve wanted to change the world since I was little, but I never, ever anticipated how large the world is. 7 billion - that’s a lot of fucking people. To have an impact on them would be an achievement of ungodly proportions. As I’ve gained experience, I’ve realized that anyone with goals of this size must start small; I go to a small university, and I can honestly say that I know quite a few people. Being elected the President of the Environmental Science Club might be the best thing that has happened to me this year simply because I have the opportunity and the freedom to impact so many lives - whether they’re future leaders or officers, in the environmental science department, or if they’re just a student in general. I have the power to propose and become a part of the implementation process of sustainable initiatives on campus. That’s a big fucking deal. I guess I’m now just coming to terms with it, but shit. This is more than an item on a resumee. I may not change the entire 7 billion people that are populating this Earth, but I can change MY world, and that’s good enough for me.

movement at midnight

Fri, 10 May 2013 01:08:29 -0400

movement at midnight

boredom

Fri, 10 May 2013 00:36:59 -0400

sitting on my bed

ate a sandwich earlier

looked at pictures of animals

played with my fat for a while. shouldn’t have eaten that sandwich.

going to bed i guess. happy playmester.

memories of you

Tue, 07 May 2013 02:21:04 -0400

When we met, I examined your life line. I told you you were going to die because it is short, but you’d live a meaningful one because it is deep. We laughed about that then, and to my surprise, we still laugh about it now. It was your birthday and we had a one-night-stand. Happy birthday. I didn’t expect anything to come from it, so I tried to forget. You were impossible to forget. You were never on my mind, though. The “keep out” sign I keep at the edge of my thoughts protects me, to say the least; it envelopes my otherwise more vulnerable organs and separates them from danger. Still, your presence weighed heavy between my sheets even when a different body occupied the bed. Every now and then I’d catch myself thinking of what could be, but quickly shoo’d those thoughts back to the edge, to the sign. I kept doing this until January, four months later, when we came around again. “He’s meeting us downtown with him,” they said. My gut fell to my feet. It was a Monday and I was drinking cheap cinnamon whiskey. I took another swig. Swig after swig, eventually I drunkenly and humorously convinced myself the whiskey was expensive, well-aged scotch. Soon it tasted nothing like whiskey. I had finished half a bottle in an hour. We stumbled our way downtown, talking nonsense as we went, and when I walked in, I remember:

I eyed him up and down, hungry. I couldn’t reveal my vulnerability, so I flirted - shamelessly. The “keep out” sign was flashing bright, neon lights this time. From then it was a blur. I woke up the next morning to my friend’s cat hissing at me. I was covered in vomit.

We went out again five days later. It was just as drunk, but definitely more memorable. He stayed over and we watched videos of baby animals. We learned a lot about each other that night. We stayed up into the morning and drove to the forest. I was in a dream. Everything after that is a blur. We became an “item,” if you will, because neither one of us thought it appropriate to label it as anything else. Two and a half months passed, and I started getting anxious. My impatience was setting in. I felt trapped, suffocated. I was dealing with issues that were far past my comprehension and this was something I didn’t need. So I let him go.

It didn’t last long. He found a way back in. Maybe I let him back in? I can’t describe what happened. I reflected upon myself and my methods of coping with relationships. I was in the wrong. Never have I felt so strongly, so positively, about a single individual. It hurts. It makes me sick to think that someone so beautiful wants to be a part of my life. Not only that, but he thinks so highly of me that I am almost tempted to turn those flashing “keep out” signs back on. I would, but I now realize that letting my guard down (just a little bit) is the best thing that I have done for myself. He has allowed me to grow in ways that I could never have done on my own. For that, my head is full of hope and my heart, gratitude.

"The moon lives in the lining of your skin."

Tue, 07 May 2013 01:44:20 -0400

“The moon lives in the lining of your skin.”

- Pablo Neruda (via thegirlyouleftbehind)

I have one more final tomorrow so obviously it’s time to reflect on this past semester and the...

Thu, 02 May 2013 18:58:31 -0400

I have one more final tomorrow so obviously it’s time to reflect on this past semester and the rest of my life and stuff. More happened this semester than I ever anticipated. I’m thinking of how to organize my thoughts and I can feel my heart beating, violently, heavily. Where to begin? I certainly fell into my old self, the self I always talk about missing. I’m thankful for that. These past few months feel like a blur - they are a blur.

I tried convincing myself that what happened was not a big deal, and a significant chunk of me still believes that reporting it was pointless. The case isn’t closed yet, but I’m supposed to hear back in a few days. Still, I stood up for myself by doing for myself what I would’ve wanted anyone else in a similar situation to do. That’s worth something, right? I can’t breathe.

In January I went on my first lichen hunt. On 7 January I developed a relationship with someone I had a one-night-stand with back in September. I joined the KD TUG team. We won first place. I got more and more involved with the Environmental Science Club. My class projects and my research this semester embodied the Club’s vision of implementing a campus garden. I rediscovered what it means to be a feminist. I received a grant and I may be able to publish my own species of lichenized fungus. I spoke in front of my entire sorority about the importance of leadership and I told everyone not to be “spuds” aka couch potatoes. I went camping a few times. I’m still with the guy I was with in January. He is my first real, I guess you could say boyfriend. Never mind I don’t like that. I made an A in Lichenology but I’m still waiting on my other grades.

I’m seeing The Avett Brothers and Old Crow Medicine Show on May 17. I’m going home the following weekend to see Trampled By Turtles. On June 9, I get to see the Tallest Man on Earth again. Me, Hannah, and David are road tripping to Forecastle Music Festival in Kentucky from July 12 to the 14th. In between concerts, I am working on my grant-funded research.

I’m proud of myself.

fuckyeahyoga: 6 Poses for College Students (via college humor)

Mon, 22 Apr 2013 10:30:55 -0400

fuckyeahyoga:

6 Poses for College Students (via college humor)

shavingryansprivates: i cant believe someone took the time to...

Mon, 22 Apr 2013 10:23:07 -0400

shavingryansprivates:

i cant believe someone took the time to make this

gnostic-forest: mountainwilderness: This is awesome! Wow

Mon, 22 Apr 2013 10:21:37 -0400

gnostic-forest:

mountainwilderness:

This is awesome!

Wow

dreamboatsandtrenchcoats: Instead of saying motherfucker you can just say Oedipus

Sat, 23 Mar 2013 21:27:56 -0400

dreamboatsandtrenchcoats:

Instead of saying motherfucker you can just say Oedipus

I’ve (finally) pretty much mapped out the rest of my undergraduate career and I thought...

Tue, 12 Mar 2013 17:53:38 -0400

I’ve (finally) pretty much mapped out the rest of my undergraduate career and I thought I’d feel differently than how I do right now. It doesn’t seem like I’ve accomplished nearly enough in the past three years. Yes, I’ve been busier than I have ever been. I go for a few days without getting a full eight hours of sleep and sometimes I forget to eat or shower. My form of procrastination isn’t watching an episode of the Big Bang Theory or crafting for my little. No, I procrastinate by researching graduate programs and internships. I spend countless hours working on research projects, all while balancing it with the Environmental Science Club, KD, and my very minute social life.

Some people say mapping out your future is a waste of time, and I completely, 100% agree with that, especially since I randomly stumbled into the field of Environmental Science. I have been so, so, so incredibly lucky to meet the people I have met in the department. Not many people can say that they fell in love with their major - I did fall in love with mine. I don’t have a clue as to what my future professional career holds, but I do know that if I keep up my enthusiasm and if I keep sharing my passion for the field, people will continue to catch me as I fall into the right place for me.

I GOT A FUCKING GRANT. Through the grant, I can be published and essentially name my own species. I can’t even explain how important (or exciting) that is. From this point forward, it is crunch time. Bring it on, senior year. This Aries is about to bring the horns.