Let's go star tripping...

Apr 15

I drink for something when I’m nothing
I drink for nothing when it’s gone
And I feed the clouds, they are my shadow
‘Cause I have raised the cubs my self alone

Now there is somethin’ in the wild
Here is my weather of a killing kind

I am physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually exhausted.

It feels good.

Apr 13

What’s wrong with me? I feel the intensities that come with death two days before my birthday. I try to forget about my sadness for a night, and I get overwhelmed with unnecessary attention from the people I love. I’ve never understood birthdays. I especially don’t understand celebrating life while simultaneously balancing the acceptance of the end of a physical life. I feel meaningless. You don’t just forget about the death of a friend overnight. While I know it was my choice to go out, I also know that the people that love me and knew my pain should have made an extra effort not to do or say anything that would have triggered ANYTHING that would have (even normally) upset me. I would never treat anyone that way, and that’s not how I expect to be treated either. I have the right to be cared for in this time of sadness, and it surprised me how many people simply can’t push back their own physical desires for a true friend. Again, I feel meaningless, not undervalued. There is a significant difference.

Apr 12
Apr 1

(via thinknorth)

Mar 26



Did you know that Crush is portrayed “high” because Sea Turtles actually eat jellyfish and the poisons inside the jelly doesn’t actually harm the turtle but instead intoxicates them much like marijuana does for humans.

i just thought it was because he was supposed to be a “surfer dude”

(Source: disneysdaily)

this is everything.
Mar 26

this is everything.

(Source: pushthemovement, via madfuture)

Mar 26

(Source: pixieintrippyland, via madfuture)

Mar 26

(Source: scraitup, via madfuture)

Lucas Stone.
Mar 26

Lucas Stone.

(Source: madfuture.com, via madfuture)


i will not buy flowers for a girl because flowers are stupid and worthless and they die. get a girl a rock. rocks are strong. rocks don’t die after 2 days

(via dutchster)

Mar 26

Closure feels good. Hollowness feels good.

Mar 13
I reach for another almond, but I pull away because I know I will choke.

…so why is it so hard to narrow down my options? At least I have options? I should be grateful. I don’t know everything I want, but I do know what I don’t want.

I don’t want to suffocate. I don’t want to trap myself in a permanent position where I will forever be obligated to stay. I do not want to work in a job solely for the money. I don’t want to struggle. I don’t want to limit myself. I don’t want to make mistakes that will hinder the potential for more opportunity. I absolutely do not want to be lonely or depressed. I don’t want to retreat into myself.

I guess if all of that were flipped it would be what I want. I want freedom and happiness. I want to grow upward from positive experiences. I want to be outside. I want to work with my hands, my brain, and my heart. I want to take time if I need it. I want to invest in as many people as possible and carry their stories with me. I want to be there when my best friends get married, and I want them to be there for me when “I do.” I want to be whole, yet I want to leave a piece of myself with as many of those who will take me.

Can’t have it all. Time to run.

Feb 28

I want time to wallow in my sadness but I’ll be up until 4am if I do that. Maybe I’ll throw up instead.

Feb 17

Self-esteem = SHOT

Feb 17

"We did not come to remain whole. We came to lose our leaves like the trees, Trees that start again. -Robert Bly"

- We’re not alone.

Feb 10